Queer Meme

My turn, I think, on this one.  And this prompted me to turn on the "adult content" warning sign.  

1. How old were you when you knew you were gay?

I was about 5.  I always liked to be with men who had body hair and big calves; I just had this tremendous warm feeling about it.  I had more hints in school when I was teased about playing in the sandbox with the girls instead of playing with the boys.  And then when I was nine I told my next door neighbor about the anal sex I was having with my cousins - when he blew his stack I *knew* there was something different about me!  What, none of the other little boys I knew did these things?  

2. Have you ever had sex with the opposite sex?

My girlfriend and I in High School (she's multi-sexual now, has been married once, was with a woman for a couple of decades and now is with a trans man) masturbated each other to orgasm once and heavy-petted a lot, but that's as close as I've gotten.

3. Who was the first person you came out to?

My own self, followed closely by my parents.

4. Are you out to your family?

Yes, completely.  Since I was bout 20 and had just gotten with my first partner.

5. Do you want children?

I'd love grandchildren.  I like kids and I'm really good with them - just don't want to have them in my house breaking my stuff all the time.  But my husband and I would be fab granddads. Too bad neither of us has children of our own.  I'm finally at the age when I think I could handle it, though.  

6. Do you have more gay friends or straight friends?

It's a relatively even mix.

7. Were you out in school?

OH, hell no.  I quietly came out my senior year of college, so my housemates (all lesbian now) knew.  But then we were all coming out to each other simultaneously.  I was the "brave one" who did it first and gave the others their tacit permission. 

8. Is your best friend the same sex as you?

Yes.  Had you asked me this in High School I would have said, 'no'. 

9. If your best friend is the same sex, have you ever had sex with them?

I've had sex with a few of my best friends; current best is my husband.

10. Have you ever done crystal meth?

No - I didn't even know what that was until a few years ago.  I thought "Tina" was a person.  

11. Have you ever been in a sling?

No - but I sure would love to be.

12. Have you ever done a 3-way?

Absolutely!  It's lovely to be in a bed all snuggled up with a few people.  

13. Have you ever dressed in drag?

Only once as an adult - I was an elderly maiden of Diana's court in a Baroque opera scene here in the city where I live.  I was in a skirt, pearls, had a foliage headdress and my beard, of course.  Played "dressup" as a kid, of course, like we all did.  

14. Would you date a drag queen?

Depends on the drag queen.   I'd date *anyone* if their soul called to me.    

15. Are you 'fixed in your ways' as it were?

Not really.  There are some things I do insist on, but others I change to suit my fancy

16. Cher or Bette?

Neither.  I'm more an Emma Kirkby/Leontyne Price/Jan DeGaetani kinda guy.

17. Have you dated someone of a different ethnicity?

Oh, yes!  I love Arab men, though I haven't dated any.  I dated a beautiful black man who had the most amazing ways about him.  Yum.  Right now its just us two white crackers. 

18. Been to Fire Island? Saugatuck? Key West? Ft. Lauderdale? Palm Springs?

Key West.  On a whim with a British friend.  "Clothing Optional Pool Bar" was new to me.

Original 18. Have you ever barebacked?

Yes - my first partner and I were exclusive.  We barebacked for the duration of our relationship, and then used condoms when we had sex together after we broke up.  Once or twice - foolishly - with others.  I do prefer it.

19. How many Madonna CDs do you own?

Zero. 

20. Name of your first love?

Patrick

21. Do you still talk to them?

No - we were in kindergarten at the time.

22. Does size matter?

You know, I used to not think so.  I love a beautiful dick, and I'm mesmerized by some large ones.  But really, I can't do much with the really big ones or with the really teeny ones.  Until I started dating at 40 and found out that there were dicks that fit my own anatomy much better than my first partner's had, I would have said that this was a non-issue for me.  *Thickness* matters a LOT, I have discovered.  I can get pleasure from any penis, sure!  And I love giving it, too.  BUT, when I dated Paul, I came spontaneously every single time he put his cock in my ass in a breathless, earth-shattering way.  Really.  Every time.  Holy Crap.  That was nigh on to the perfect cock for me, hands down.  Too bad that sex was almost the only thing we had in common :-(  SO, I would say that some cocks fit me way better than others and can greatly influence my pleasure and ability to orgasm.  AND I would also say that technique and love matters more.  Pleasure is a multivariable equation, and size is merely one isolated term in it. 

23. Biggest turn on?

Gentle masculinity.  Body hair!  (I almost came spontaneously when I saw the body hair on the hairiest man I've ever been with, no lie)  Beautifully muscled legs. Kindness.

24. Biggest turn off?

Assholism.  Overly aggressive and manipulative people.  Arrogance. Meanness. Retribution.  Underarm odor.

25. Ever been harassed due to your orientation?

Never.

26. Worst gay stereotype that applies to you?

I can camp it up when I want to.  I have a deliciously wicked ability to mimic voices - which is completely nelly and turns a lot of people off.  I'm terrified by bugs and I squeal when they scuttle.  It's the scuttling part that does it to me. 

27. Ever been to a pride rally?

Yes!  Several - all total fun.

28. Would you marry if you could?

Did.  Want to again as many times as possible until the US gets it right. 

29. Would you rather be rich and smart or young and beautiful?

Rich and smart.  

30. Do you sculpt your eyebrows?

Oh HELL no.  I briefly dated a hair stylist (what was I thinking?) who wanted to tweeze my eyebrows so that it would "open up my eyes a little".  I scoffed so hard at the notion that I think he died a little inside. 

31. Do you trim your body hair?

Nooooooooo.   Did that ONCE.  I think secondary sex characteristics, especially body hair, is extraordinarily sexy on a man. 

32. Ever had sex with more than one person in a day?

Actually, no.  Well, if you don't count my older cousins when we were little.  

33. Ever been to an orgy?

I've been one in a room where six people were having sex with each other ... not sure if this is 'orgy' material.  

34. Which character in "The Women" best reflects you?

The what?  Actually I'm familiar with the idea that there IS a movie named "The Women" that gay men get off on.  Never seen it.  But I do know the "Jungle Red" reference.  

35. Favorite gay expression ?

Faaabulous!

36. How may 'ex' do you have?

One.  We had seventeen beautiful, strange and difficult years together.  Still love each other now and are still in regular touch.  I have a few other "we've dated" exes, but they really don't count as exes.

37. Do you believe in fairies? 

Yes.  And angels and Little People and Trolls and Wights.  And Power Animals and Teachers and Guides ...

38. Do you have any tattoos?

Not yet - several planned, just need the time and the moolah.  And the right artist.

39. Do you have any piercings?

Yes - left earlobe and PA.  Want a discrete septum piercing that I can hide from clients when I'm at work.  It would be nice to just have the old bone in the nose on weekends when I'm among family. 

40. Would you date a smoker?

I did without knowing it.  He didn't smell of smoke, nor did he taste of it!  Very fastidious.  So - depends on the smoker.

41. If you are male, do you know many lesbians?

Tons.  Love 'em.  Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em. 

42. Do you know anyone who has died from HIV?

One very dear friend in the late 80's.  A few others who were really only acquaintances.  I just wasn't hooked into the scene then.  

43. Are you part of a gay organization?

No. 

44. Is your gym cruisy?

Gym?  My gym is the mountain trails I hike.  I have gotten some sultry looks out there though ...

45. Grinder or Scruff?

Um, excuse me ... what?

46. Are your best years behind or in front of you?

In front of!  I'm just learning how to live at 49.5!

47. Got Porn?

Duh.  Does a boy have a dick?

48. Make out music?

Johann Rosenmueller, Hesperion XX, 

49. Ever been in love with a straight guy?

Lots.  I have a couple of straight friends who love right me back. 

50. Did you ever have sex with him?

I would so love to.  One's a skinny, hairy dude, and he would be dynamite in the sack.  The other is a beautiful Italian bear who *has* kissed me.  And who'd also be a ton of fun to play with. 

51. Have you ever been to a nude beach?

Yes.  Haulover Beach in Miami and Wreck Beach in Vancouver!  Loved it, especially Wreck.  When I descended the 400+ stairs to get down from the bluff to the beach and the elderly lady in front of me whipped off her top, I knew it was going to be fun. And THEN when I saw the nude young man helping his elderly nude father - with walker and oxygen tank - I was totally sold.  Seeing naked families playing together on the beach was a total treat. 

52. Have you ever been to a bath house?

No.

53. Ever had sex in public?

Yes - it wasn't planned that way, but it sure ended up that way.  There's something more than hot about being watched ...

54. What gay gene did you miss out?

Tidiness.  And decorating.  To my partner's sorrow, I'm a slob.  And a small-time hoarder.  Alas.  Well, I also missed out on the skinny twink gene:  I'm a mesomorph, short, squat and strong and now, overweight.